Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
