She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
