Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
