What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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