All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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