party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
