We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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