addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have fence marks all over my body
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
