I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
