If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
