So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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