Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
