Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
