I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
