Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
