things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
