After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
