i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
