She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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