So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Houston, we have a blender
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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