sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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