I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
