Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
