New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's blow job season.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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