i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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