You can't motorboat a personality
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
