I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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