Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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