i just made my gag reflex go away.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Thank you for not boning my boss.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
