Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
