i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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