Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you had me at cake vodka
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
