Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
