True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
