It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
