do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
