Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
