hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
