There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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