Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
