She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
