u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
