I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
