I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
