they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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