You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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