your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Randomize
