Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
false alarm, still single
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