Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
