you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
