why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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