Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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